Processing Time: Radiation Edition

The Radiation Consult…

Today was the BIG day as far as learning more about the ongoing plan for my treatment.

First things first—I really liked the doctor I ended up with. (Thank you, insurance company that gave me approximately zero choices. 🫤)

He sat with us for almost an hour answering every question we had. One thing that made me feel better was learning that a close family member of his also has a meningioma, so he seems especially familiar with the day-to-day realities and decisions that come along with this diagnosis.

So… my treatment plan would be 30 (THIRTY!!) radiation sessions.

Five days a week for six weeks.

That sounds like a lot. Because it is a lot.

The good news is that each treatment only lasts a few minutes, and the doctor feels confident that I should be able to continue working while going through them.

The next decision is when to start—or technically, whether I want to start right now at all.

Based on everything I’ve learned from my doctors, along with the research I’ve done on my own, I do plan on having the radiation. Mostly because I would really like to avoid ever going through another craniotomy if I can help it. But I also learned that because the tumor had eroded part of my skull, there’s a possibility that microscopic tumor cells could still be present in the bone surrounding the area where the affected bone was removed.

The good news is that meningiomas are generally very slow-growing, so there isn’t a huge sense of urgency.

If I wanted to, I could choose the “wait and watch” approach for now—getting MRIs several times a year to monitor the piece of tumor that had to be left behind and make sure nothing new starts growing. I could even wait until after my next MRI and appointment with my neurosurgeon in August before making a move.

But…

Radiation can cause fatigue. And I’m already dealing with fatigue.

So do I start now and potentially add to it? Or do I wait until I’ve regained more stamina, only to possibly lose some of it again once treatment begins?

That’s the part I need to think through.

Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer yet. All of this information is literally only a few hours old. I feel confident about what I’m going to do. Radiation feels like the right choice for me.

I’m just not sure about the timing.

So for now, I’m going to give myself some space to weigh the pros and cons, listen to my doctors, listen to my body, and trust my instincts.

Please continue to be patient with me while I figure it out.

Whatever I decide, I promise I’ll be making that decision with my clients in mind, too. I’m already learning that there’s a fine line between pushing myself enough to recover and pushing myself straight into a wall. Right now I’ve discovered that about four hours is my limit before my brain starts filing formal complaints and demanding a nap.

I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to continue working throughout treatment. The doctor certainly thinks it’s possible. But I’ve also learned not to make too many assumptions about recovery because apparently my brain enjoys keeping things interesting.

For now, I’m going to go meditate, give myself some Reiki, and see if I can quiet my mind enough to hear what my intuition has to say.

Since I’m definitely not psychic… that’s probably the best I’ve got. 🔮✨