Halfway… and a plot twist I wasn’t expecting.

I’m a little late with my Week 3 update.

I’d planned to write it yesterday, but I got distracted by a little side project. Every time I thought about sitting down to write, something told me to wait. So I did.

As it turns out, what I thought was going to be another “nothing much to report” update… wasn’t.

I knew hair loss was a possibility. I thought I’d made peace with it.

Then I brushed my hair after shampooing it last night.

Nothing—and I mean nothing—can prepare you for the shock of seeing an entire hairbrush full of your own hair after one brushing. I’d noticed a little extra shedding for a few days, which I expected. It wasn’t enough to worry about. But I think there was a tiny part of me that still hoped I’d somehow be the exception.

Last night, that hope disappeared.

Ironically, I’ve spent 30 years telling clients, “It’s just hair. It’ll grow back.”

Until now… it had never been my hair.

So now I’m sitting with a lot of conflicting emotions.

I have a bald spot on the side of my head. Thankfully it’s fairly easy to hide, but that doesn’t magically make it easy to accept.

And then there’s this weird imposter syndrome I’ve been carrying around.

I don’t have cancer. I’m receiving radiation because a small portion of the tumor couldn’t be safely removed, and the goal is to shrink it, stop it from growing, or at least slow it down.

Every time I walk into the cancer center, I feel like I don’t quite belong there.

I know that probably doesn’t make much sense, but it’s how it feels.

I’ve even already decided I won’t ring the bell after my last treatment because, in my head, that celebration belongs to people who’ve fought cancer.

Whether that’s true or not… that’s where my heart is right now.

So here’s the Week 3 update in a nutshell:

• Things are going okay…ish.
• Radiation has officially claimed some of my hair.
• The fatigue is still a mystery because, honestly, I was already an expert in being tired. 🫠
• Apparently imposter syndrome can show up in the most unexpected places.
• But I’m officially halfway through treatment, and overall… things really aren’t that bad.

And finally…

If you see me and you’re curious about my new bald patch, just ask. 😂

Seriously.

And if you have any creative ideas for hiding it that don’t involve a wig, I’m all ears.

Whether you’ve experienced hair loss from chemotherapy, radiation, alopecia, or something entirely different, I have a whole new appreciation for how emotional it can be.

It’s “just hair”…

…until it’s yours.