Gentle Reminders (For Me First)

If you’ve never read The Four Agreements by The Four Agreements, I can’t recommend it highly enough. And even if you’re “not a reader,” it’s a quick, easy read that somehow manages to be both simple and profound.

This topic has been simmering for a while, but after a couple recent little incidents — and a gentle nudge from a sweet friend (who also introduced me to the book) — here we are.

The agreements themselves are deceptively simple. They’re things we probably all know, but knowing and practicing are very different things. I just wanted to share how they’ve been showing up for me lately, especially with allll this time for reflection.

Be impeccable with your word.

Sounds easy enough, right? Basically: be honest. But not just with other people — with yourself too.

That one has been huge for me in recovery, because our words carry energy. The things we say out loud matter, and the things we quietly tell ourselves matter too. I’ve had to pay attention to whether I’m speaking to myself with patience or being harsher with myself than I’d ever be with someone I love.

And also… say the hard things. Let people know where they stand. Say what you feel. Truth delivered kindly is still kindness.

Don’t take anything personally.

Okay… harder.

We’re all living inside our own little realities, interpreting life through our own filters. It’s easy to let someone’s words or actions get under your skin, but most of the time what people do is about them,not you.

That reminder has saved me more than once.

Don’t make assumptions.

Whew. This one.

We all do it. Just last week I caught myself making assumptions about something I heard and almost letting it trigger me. Then I realized the people saying those things were coming from a good place… and somehow I had managed to both make assumptions and take things personally.

Overachiever behavior. 😅

Assuming the best of people when you don’t know their intent has been a real practice for me.

Always do your best.

This one may be the biggest for me right now, because “your best” is not a fixed thing.

Some days your best looks amazing. Other days it looks like getting out of pajamas. Both count.

I’ve had days where physical therapy felt like a huge win, and days where I slipped and fell (bruised ribs included, because apparently I’m committed to method acting this recovery), or pushed too hard and paid for it later.

But even on the rough days, I still showed up.

Maybe slower. Maybe messier. But still my best.

And that counts.

Honestly, that may be the biggest lesson this whole chapter has been teaching me: be kinder in how I speak to myself, take things less personally, assume less, offer myself more grace, and remember that “doing my best” doesn’t have to look impressive to matter.

So no major recovery updates this round, other than I seem strangely talented at being accident-prone lately. I thought I’d graduated beyond the “Code Autumn” label they gave me in rehab, but apparently not. 🤣

I see my surgeon next week and hopefully I’ll have real news to share after that.

Until then, these are my gentle reminders — for myself first, and maybe for you too.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Just for today… maybe give yourself credit for doing your best.